Scoobies 101
by lime green lily
Summary: Rachel. Kurt. Santana. Mike. Brittany. Matt. They're the most unlikely bunch of High strung Diva and Fashionisto who thrives on Drama, a Demonic Bitch who lives to snark at people, Crazy MIB Twins in another life who should not be left alone, and a Secret Genius Blonde who is either the world's best mind or the world's soon-to-be dictator. (Brittana/Klaine and some Ray/?)
1. Meet Brittany's Family

**SCOOBIES 101**

**SUMMARY: **Rachel._ Kurt. Santana. Mike. Brittany. Matt_

_They're the most unlikely bunch of High strung Diva and Fashionisto who thrives on Drama_,_ a Demonic Bitch who lives to snark at people, Crazy MIB Twins in another_ _life __who should not be left alone, and a Secret Genius Blonde who is either the world's best mind or the world's soon-to-be dictator._

* * *

**SCOOBIES 101**

******"Brittany's Family"**

* * *

**BLACKOUT – 1:15 PM – Berry's Home**

* * *

"Hey there!" A girl with a bright grin showed at the screen. "My name is Brittany and I'm going to introduce you to my family."

Brittany could be seen moving around pink room. The screen changed to move around the room, showing off the wall filled with frames. "And this," Brittany was shown again. "This is my room. But we're not in _my _house. This is Ray-Ray's house. But Dad and Daddy – those are Rachel's parents – let me and the others pick a room here as our own. We sometimes stay here overnight see."

Brittany was shown again. "And I'll introduce you to my family now."

The camera moved to show a fat cat sitting on the bed. "This is Lord Tubbington." She says, scratching the cat's fur. "He's starting to rebel recently." Brittany was shown with a worried look on her face. "I mean, usually he just steals my diary and reads it. Usually, he steals my clothes and sometimes he shred it. But recently, I have a suspicion that he's-" She looked sideways before leaning to the camera. "He _joined _some gang. I saw him _smoke _a few days back but the others says I'm just being paranoid. But I'm not."

She stood and moved her ways around the room. "Next will be the others in my family."

The camera was moved again and it showed a picture this time. It was a picture of two people, one was Asian and the other was an African-American. They were in black suits and looked like they were imitating the Men in Black pose.

"These two are Mikey and Matty." She said. A finger pointed at the Asian boy. "This is Mikey. He used to be my ex but now he's getting lovely little kisses from Tina. She's his female self." Brittany was shown again, eyebrow scrunched in deep thought. "I wonder if it's weird for Mikey if he kisses his other female self?"

"Anyway, this is Matty." She pointed at the African-American one. "He's _really _nice. He never ever _ever _calls me bad names. But he moved to the Sunny place since he's whole family is moving." Brittany was shown with a sad face. "It's so sad. But he always comes back to Ohio during the weekends to hang out with us. It's _really _cool."

"Next is Sanny!" They were on the next frame. It was a solo picture of the Latina whose face adorned most of the frames in the room. The Latina was smirking at the camera and had a sexy look on her face. "She's the nicest most amazing and loving girl in the world." Brittany was shown again but with the biggest and brightest smile. "And she gives the best lady kisses!" Brittany beamed. "She's my girlfriend too, so you can't look."

"And up next is Kurtsie-poo." She pointed at a picture of an effeminate boy with rosy cheeks and an embarrassed grin. "He's _my _Dolphin. He was also my ex-boyfriend, and he gives sweet Dolphin kisses too. He's kisses are magical. But Kurtsie says that I can't do it anymore since he's a Dolphin." Brittany's face showed on the screen with a serious look on her face. "I think he's looking for a Dolphin of his own. But I won't allow it unless he's a Dolphin Prince and makes Kurtsie happy. Because only the best is a yes for Kurtsie." She nodded sagely.

"The last member of the family," The camera moved to show a picture of a dark haired girl sitting on a Piano bench. It was obvious that she didn't even see the camera. "This is Ray-Ray. She's – well, Sanny and Q used to say that she's a loser, but I always knew that she's great. And I was right. She's really, really nice. And she never has a bad word to say about anybody. She makes great cookies – just like Kurtsie. And her sweet lady kisses are _sweet_." She whispered the last part.

"And that," Brittany said, grinning brightly. "is my family. I love them loads and loads. And I know that they love me too. And we love each other. That's why we're a family."

* * *

**BLACKOUT**

* * *

"Aww." It was Rachel who cooed. "That was so sweet, Brittany." And she gave Brittany a peck on the cheeks and a hug.

Kurt, who was sniffling and dabbing his eyes with a tissue, smiled. "Too sweet." He said, hugging both her and Rachel. "I love you too, sweetheart."

"We love you loads!" Mike and Matt shouted in unison, joining the group hug.

"Oi! Are you kidding me? I should be the one in the middle with my girl." Santana cried out, but there was a smile on her face. And when Brittany looked up from the group hug and smiled brightly at her, she grinned and joined the hug. "Love you too, Brit-Brit."

Brittany, sandwiched by her five friends, gave a watery laugh. "Happy International Best Friends day. I love you guys loads!"

* * *

**Happy Belated International Friendship Day! (June 8)**

**I just love Kurtcheltana plus Mike/Matt and Brittany frienship. Just to warn you, there will be issues tackled here. AUs and stuff.**

**Rachel is a rich Pansexual girl. Kurt is the Gay Fashionisto that he is in canon but a lot more sarcastic and witty. Santana is the tough Lesbian we all know and love. Brittany is still a little dumb - but the others (namely a Sci-Fi loving Rachel) believes she's a secret genius out for World Domination. Matt and Mike - the least viewed characters - are playful and are like Twins.**

**Those are the easiest 'description' yet.**


	2. Meet the HummelBerry Baby

**Meet the Hummelberry Baby**

**Setting: **The first time the Family meet Blaine

**Summary: **In which Blaine meets the 'HummelBerry baby'

* * *

**SCOOBIES 101**

**"The HummelBerry Baby"**

* * *

"Hey, Blaine, Kurt's told us _loads _about you." Santana grinned in a predatory manner at the dapper looking prep schoolboy.

"Um, hello." Blaine looked between the three girls opposite to him in the booth. "It's Santana, right?"

"Yep." She leaned in, watching the younger boy squirm in his seat.

"And I'm Brittany." Brittany grinned at him - this one much nicer than her girlfriend's. "This is Rachie."

Blaine let out a sigh of relief at the familiar face of the 'calm' girl he met previously. "Rachel, I know." He returned the smile she gave him. "It's nice to see you again."

"Likewise." Rachel said.

The booth they were in was filled with silence and the awkwardness was suffocating the Warbler lead. He gave a cough or two, but Santana just raised an eyebrow at him while Brittany asked him if he needed a cough drop but she ran out since her cat was using it as some sort of 'drug'. He looked at Rachel for help, but she just eyed him analytically.

"Um, uh, have you three ordered anything yet?" He asked, trying to diffuse the tension.

"Oh, we've already eaten." Rachel said. "But I'm sure San would love another round of breadsticks if you're offering."

"I can hear the underlying offer." Santana didn't even ask him as she raised a hand to call for the waiter and ordered herself some 'sticks.

"I'll have a lemon iced tea – three ice, two sugar cubes. Please and thank you." Rachel added.

"I want breadsticks, too." Brittany joined, raising her hand for effect.

When the waiter turned to him, he looked down at the menu and just stuttered a reply. He pointed at a picture that looked adequate enough. "Um, I, uh, I'll just get one of this."

He looked up at the three girls. Each one of them wore a smile – a predatory grin (Santana), a hyperactive grin (Brittany), and an amused smile (Rachel).

He knew immediately they were planning something – possibly his death.

* * *

"Thanks for the treat, Frodo." Santana said, smirking back at him.

"Breadsticks tastes yummier if the money that pays it comes from someone else's pocket." Brittany nodded wisely.

Rachel didn't speak. She just gave him a, '_just take it in, buddy' _smile. And he knew Rachel knew her friends better than he did. So he took it in.

"By the way, we didn't get to '_talk'_ like we're supposed to." Santana looked at him, her face set in a look that would make a great cover for a '**_torture 101'_** manual. "So, let's _talk_."

Blaine's face had gone white. He looked at Brittany's face, which looked so weird without her grin and with a determined frown, and Rachel's '_sorry, bud, I can't help you'_ face. He gulped and straightened his back. "Of course."

"Not here, though." It was Rachel who interjected. "Really, it's a little too… I don't know. Whatever. We can have some friendly chat in my house." She gave Santana a side-glare when the buxom cheerleader looked like she wanted to argue.

"Yay! Ray's house." Brittany stood up from the booth and grabbed Santana with her. "Let's go, San. We can talk later."

"We'll meet you there, Samgee." Santana motioned to Rachel.

Blaine slumped in his seat once Santana and Brittany walked out of their hearing point. "Thank you." He told her.

"I only gave you probably half an hour, maybe less. You should do your speech in the car." She told him.

"Still… thank you." He breathed out, looking at Rachel as if she was an angel from above.

She laughed. "Come on, bud, let's go. San and Brit will be driving in San's car. You can follow me on mine."

"Uh, actually, I didn't bring my car." He told her.

"Well," She bit her lower lip, looking unsure. "You can ride with me."

"Thanks, Rach."

"Mhmm… I'll introduce you to Gracie." She told him as they maneuvered out of the restaurant.

"Gracie?" He asked her.

"My baby girl. She's named after Grace Kelly." Rachel spoke as if there wasn't anything wrong with what she said.

But for Blaine, it was another matter entirely. Kurt had told him some of the ala soap opera drama in McKinley. One of the New Direction's girls was pregnant just last year. Did he mean _Rachel_?

"Your baby girl?" He asked, trying to make her clarify.

"Well, mine and Kurt's baby girl." She nodded. "Kurt hates it when I try to claim her as just mine. Apparently, he helped make Gracie too."

Blaine's eyes grew wide and he sputtered out. "W-what!?"

Rachel stopped. She cocked her head to the side and watched him cough and stutter. "Hm?"

"Y-you a-a-and KURT? The two of you…. you two… w-what?" He kept stuttering, his eyes growing wider with every syllable and his index finger pointing at her and at nothing and back again.

"Oh? Gracie? Well, she really wasn't planned." Blaine was hyperventilating with every word that passed her lips. "And Kurt being the one to… well, you know. It was really a surprise. But it's a nice surprise, you know."

Blaine wanted to pass out. He could hardly breathe. He knew that Kurt went to have a 'Butch' phase sometime around last year or something, but he didn't knew that it was _Kurt _who got _Rachel _**PREGNANT!**

"Excuse me?" Rachel looked at him and he just realized he spoke outloud. "Um, _Kurt _got _me _pregnant?" There was a pause before Rachel began to crack up. "Oh my! Hahaha!" She bent over, trying to get her bearing. He could hear her throw in words like 'Kurt' 'Me' and 'Holy Mother of Broaway'.

Blaine didn't know what to feel. He just stared at the girl he considered as his (as she proudly exclaimed the first time they met) fellow Hobbit with flabbergast. He watched her as she huffed and panted. She just looked at his face and she began to crack up again.

It was five minutes later and people were looking at the two of them weirdly that he decided that, yes, even Rachel Barbra Berry (and yes, she does _need _the full name) needed to breath. He grabbed her by the shoulder and told her to stop laughing. She seemed to try to stop. She tried to do breathing but the amused grin never left her face.

"What?" He asked her.

She breathed a deep breath. "I-I'm sorry." She bit back another round of giggles. "It's just that… the _simple _**thought **is enough to crack me."

"W-what?" He blinked, not sure what she was getting at.

"_I _wsn't the one who got pregnant. And Kurt – I love him and all, but I know for a fact that he'd sooner _barf _or burn his Armani suit than _kiss_ – let alone _touch _a girl." She swallowed another round of snickers.

"B-but… G-Gracie?" He stuttered out.

Rachel just laughed and dragged him towards a car. No. It wasn't just _a car_. It was a very beautiful black Chevy Impala.

"Year '67. It's an old model." Rachel said. "My Daddy bought her from an old shop – Mr. Hummel and Kurt made her all new. They even added one of the best motor in her so I can go the fastest I want."

"T-this is _Gracie?_" He stuttered.

She gave an annoyed sound behind her throat and said, "_She's_ Gracie. Kurt takes pride in her, you know."

As he looked at the immaculate paint job, it barely looked like it was really an _old _model. When he entered it, the car seat was leather and looked really new.

"Say hi to Gracie, Blaine." Rachel said, starting the engine.

"Hi, Gracie." Blaine let out a laugh, both at the foolishness of the situation and of him when he jumped to the conclutions.

* * *

**I LOVE SUPERNATURAL! KYAAAA!**

**Hehehe… Meet Gracie, the HummelBerry baby. I got you there, didn't I?**

**Anyway, Rachel actually _knew _where Blaine's thoughts were leading. She was really having fun with him. She just cracked up at his reaction. It was the best part.**


End file.
